Tuesday night doodle.
As summer draws to a close and I start pushing away the girl I was interested in, this song feels right for some reason.
Michael Scott (Steve Carell, The Office)
Wait, is there another way?
- The Descendants (via pythons)
"I’m afraid that I’m responsible for my own loneliness." PostSecret
Fun fact about me: Sometimes when driving home late when I’m not feeling my most awesome I yell. With no one to hear it. I yell and my tear my throat and then when I get home it tickles and makes me cough. And it’s all for no reason beyond a deep desire to express emotion that is far beyond my ability to express.
My perceptions of people, especially girls I’m intrigued in, is much like viewing something through water. You know how the surface of the water makes an object in the water seem a different size and shifted from where it actually is? If you reached in to grab it you would miss it because what you see isn’t accurate. I do the same thing to people. I allow them to be warped and moved and shaped in my mind, and then when I reach for them I miss and get disappointed because they’re actual people and I thought/acted like I knew them when really they were still very much a mystery to me.
I often long for someone to share happiness and sadness with, and I guess for some crazy reason I had picked out someone who would be that for me. Unfortunately it took me a few weeks to realize what I was doing was unrealistic and unfair. I thought about my flaws tonight and how I need to stop hoping for some other person to make me feel better when I’m still like this. (The other part of me knows that I’ll never have it all figured out so waiting until i am is just as silly.) I’m not really expressing myself very well at all, but the short version is that I feel like giving up or moving on.